Truths About Life
From email — January 9, 2003
Great Truths About Life That Little Kids Have Learned
- No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
- When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her
brush your hair.
- If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back, they
always catch the second person.
- You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
- Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
- You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
- Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- The best place to be when you are sad is Grandmom
or Grandpop’s lap.
Great Truths About Life That Adults Have Learned
- Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
- Wrinkles don’t hurt.
- Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few
- Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held
- Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the
- Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the
fiber, not the joy.
Great Truths About Growing Old
- Growing old is mandatory: growing up is optional.
- Forget the health food, I need all the preservatives
I can get!
- When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do
while your down there.
- Your getting very old when you get the same
sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from
a roller coaster.
- It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but
nobody bothers to ask the questions.
- Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy
- Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes
The Four Stages of Life
- You believe in Santa Claus.
- You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
- You are Santa Claus.
- You look like Santa Claus.