“Old” is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

“Old” is when your doctor doesn’t give you x-rays any more but just holds you up to the light.

“Old” is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest you.

“Old” is when you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

“Old” is when your wife says “let’s go upstairs and make love” and you answer “Honey, I can’t do both!”