Old, Moldy Ones

Below are some old jokes I heard many years ago:

What is the difference between a beautiful girl and a mouse?
The mouse harms the cheese, and the girl charms the he’s.

What is the difference between a person walking upstairs and a person standing at the bottom looking up?
One is stepping up the stairs, and the other is staring up the steps.

Where do old Volkswagens go to be junked?
To the old Volks’ home.

Q: What moves faster, heat or cold?
A: Heat. You can catch a cold.

Cat’s Meow

Recently we acquired a kitten named Shadow. Like any cat, she can’t speak English; the only word she knows is “Meow.” But you can tell what she means by the way she says it. If she just wants attention, she says it in a high-pitched voice, as if she is asking a question. But if she is hungry or thirsty, she belts it out with an attitude; she puts a little bit of “R” into it, like this: “Mraaaow!”

One day, I (Charlie) made this comment: “I think it’s an acronym—MRAO.” “What’s that?” my wife asked. I replied, “Meal Request; All Out.”