This is what it could sound like if Romeo changed his name to Ummamum (heaven forbid):

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
I’m playing in a rock band and beating on my drum-a-mum.

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
I must have lost my mind! I can’t remember where I’m from-a-mum!

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
I’m sitting on my backside and acting like a bum-a-mum.

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
I’m finishing my dinner and eating every crumb-a-mum.

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
I ate a stick of dynamite; I’m blown to kingdom come-a-mum!

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
Just sitting here, a-passing time, and sucking on my thumb-a-mum.

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
I’m headed for the grocery store to buy a pack of gum-a-mum.

And then there’s the one I published on our temporary home page on August 26, 2000:

Ummamum, Ummamum, Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?
I’m getting all re-organized! So why are you so glum-a-mum?

Visitor Pat Miller sent me this one:
In keeping with the Romeo & Juliet theme,
“An ummamum by any other name,
would still be just as strange.”

Visitor Sean from Idaho (USA) sent me this note on October 23, 2004:

“Wherefore art thou Ummamum?” All of your quotes respond with some location, answering where Ummamum is. The problem is that you aren’t answering the question. “Wherefore” doesn’t mean “where”, it means “why”. So “Wherefore art thou, Ummamum?” should be answered something like “Because that’s what my mother named me, and she has an odd sense of humor.”

The point is well taken! I learned the real meaning of “wherefore” after this page was first written; see the NOTE near the top of this page. Someday when I am bored, perhaps I will write some new rhymes which properly answer the question. Or… your contributions are welcome.

Did you think of another one you’d like me to add to this page? Just contact me. If it’s a good one and it’s in good taste, I’ll publish it here.