Sent by Neil Butcher, September 8, 2006
Posted January 17, 2007
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
Then, I tried to be a Chef—figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn’t fit in.
I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian—until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I eventually quit because it was always the same old grind.
So, I tried Retirement and, you know what? I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!