Foolish Nonsense

January 13, 2001

Joe told me I should put this page in the humor section, but with so many Ummamum references, I decided to put it here instead.

This page was created just for the fun of it, and it was never published until September 3, 2001. It isn’t intended to make sense, but it might be worth a laugh or two.

Here it is…

I don’t think we need to do any more looking. I think we’ve found the purr-fect solution.

It was that crazy cat who kicked the Ummamum’s teeth in. I think he did it just for kicks, because he is taking martial arts classes. But I’m sure Chuck Norris wouldn’t approve of his actions.

Click on the banner below to visit Ummamum on the Web. Or simply weave a web of your own. What do you think of this background image? Or would you rather that I concoct some other cockamamie idea (I’m not sure if I spelled that word correctly).

Go to Jail. Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO; do not collect $308.10. If you do not follow my rules, you will go stark raving MAD!!! Boil thoroughly before entering. DO NOT use any of this material without prior written consent from whoever I stole it from. This ingredient has been added for the benefit of those who cannot roast chestnuts after every meal.

Next Thursday, which is Good Friday, there will be a ladies’ meeting for men only. Admission is free, pay at the door; pull up a chair and sit on the floor. — You’re in tune with Oo Radio, VJVM, Kalamazoo, Michigan. On this station you can hear the bombs bursting in air and see the rockets red glare. Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now, or prepare for pizza tonight!

Pikachu! I choose you! Go, Pikachu! Thunder Bolt attack, NOW! (He shocks the dickens out of Team Rocket) Way to go, Pikachu! — “It looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!” (Flash of light).

Ummamum! I choose you! Go, Ummamum! Pepperoni attack, NOW! (He does the Ummamum and shoots out pepperoni disks that slice up the enemy) Way to go, Ummamum! Keep on serving up that pizza… it’s sooooo delicious! UMMMMM!!!! Such a sad end to an otherwise silly tale!

Next Thursday, which is Good Friday…

Many of you may recognize that paragraph as part of an old rhyme that has been passed down through the years. Everyone seems to know their own version of it, and literally dozens of them are on the Internet. Here is a sampling of some of the more interesting ones: